Friday, August 10, 2012

She's going into FREAK OUT MODE!

I think it's finally hitting me that this time next year, there could be a possibility of having my own classroom.  My own classroom of 20 kids.  20 minds to mold on my own. The responsibility of teaching them everything they need to know to go to the next year.  I suddenly feel like I have no experience what so ever and I have no clue what I'm doing.  I know student teaching will help tremendously, it's just an overwhelming feeling.  I've been looking at pinterest for ideas, and thinking to myself how on earth am I ever going to be ready to have my own class??  And the supplies needed to make it run smoothly?  I'm thinking it would be wise to start now getting little tid bits for my hopefully future class.  It's honestly really scary thinking about it.  Luckily I have a sister that has had 6 years as a teacher to pick her brain, but it's not like I can have her in the classroom with me?!?!?  I suddenly feel as if I'm a scared child or something.  I know this is HUGE DEAL, one that I've been looking forward for sometime, and maybe it's just that I honestly don't know what to expect.  Once the first day goes by, it will breeze by. 

Another thing that REALLY has me flipping out over, is the interviews.  Thinking about them makes me so nervous I want to puke.  I've read some questions online about some of the regular questions that they ask and  I'M SCARED!!!!  I don't think I'd be that terrified if I knew that I'd just have to be interviewed by the principal, but it's not.  It's a whole panel of teachers!!!  Nothing like 12 eyes staring at you when you roughly babel out an answer to a tough question.  EPPPPP!!!

I guess I shouldn't worry about it until I make it through this semester of 17 credit hours.  BLEK!  :)

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Grumpfest and Copy Cats.

Grumpy Alert! I'm just saying, I didn't get that much sleep at all last night, Jett woke up SEVERAL times saying he was scared and so I would walk him back into his room, wait for him to fall back asleep and like maybe an hour later, he'd wake up again and I'd have to do the same thing.  Then thinking that I could just sleep in because I thought sure he'd be exhausted, I was very wrong! He got up as soon as Jared left for work so I didn't get to catch up on any sleep. :(  So I'm not in the best of moods today.

Anyway here is my gripe...

Yeah yeah yeah... I'm too old to be saying this... again, but GRRRRR! Seriously, why can't people do their own thing... and NOT MINE!!

We have worked REALLY hard on our house, we made it our own, and seriously my kitchen is my pride and joy.  No one... has anything like my kitchen, and I made it a little bit crazy just so that no one will try and do anything like my kitchen.  I have selected pieces that are ME, that a little weird, colorful, unique, that I've had in my head since I was in Jr. High!  My retroish/modern kitchen.  So of course, I guess it's only natural for me to feel a bit defensive when I see something somewhat similar to mine, or at least a few little things.  I just saw pictures of someone redoing their kitchen and low and behold... teal KITCHEN walls (which wasn't the biggest ordeal...i know it's just a color), the biggest URK of mine was they had MY CLOCK.... my super unique, funky little spoons and forks clock on their wall, it wasn't colored like mine, but it was all silver.  I'm like.... WHAT???  I know it probably is pretty easy to make, but ....... ugggg.  It just bites, because that is my favorite piece in my kitchen .... my FAVORITE (besides my yellow fridge)... and I have obviously took tons of pictures of my kitchen and it's been all over FB so everyone can see what we have been doing to our house because I was super excited about it.  I guess if someone comes up with a yellow fridge that will really tick me off, because I seriously no NOONE that has one.  I guess with the clock, it's just a clock and honestly it shouldn't be huge deal, but stuff like that just really gets under my skin very easily.  You try to be original and then.. little stuff like this starts happening.  I'm not going to lie or hide the fact that this is absolutley ridiculous and incredibly childish...hahaha.  It is just one of my pet peeves that has always bugged me.  Someday I will be at a point that I couldn't care or less, but right now I feel like griping about it. haha.  I know there has to be someone out there that feels the same way I do.  .... Come on wouldn't that bother you just a tad bit?

Oh well, I guess I can be flattered that my kitchen is now inspiration for someone else...  ....gah!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Awkward should be my first name... uggg.

I don't know what it is that triggers it, but something in me just escapes and I feel like a complete idiot, whe I look back at the situation.  I think I try so hard to act like myself, that I just beome this annoying talkative weirdo.  Ugggg. 

Awkward Girl Strikes Again with Mumbo Jumbo Conversation!

I was sitting with my husband and son eating dinner, when in walks my hopefully future boss lady!  She was also my teacher in a couple of my classes in college, and I will hopefully be student teaching at my home town school district, where she happens to also be the new principal.  That was a bit of a mouthful.   Anyway, I was very friendly throughout our little conversation, but there were times when I was saying all sorts of random things and I could hear how ridiculous I sounded.  I probably sounded more like an excited little kid then a future teacher.  ....Sigh.  I wish they had anti-awkward pills, or some sort of socially-challenged class I could take, because after tonight I just feel really stupid.  BLERGGG. 

Awkwardly Boring.

This is one of my pet peeves with people, I know I do it too sometimes when I'm not thinking straight, but I get it all the time and I'm like... am I really that uninteresting of a person??  You know when someone asks you something and then you start telling them the about this something and then they get distracted by something else that someone else said and so they don't pay attention, and then you realize that they obviously aren't, so you stop talking.  Then maybe if your lucky, they will say something like, "Ohhh sorry, go ahead!" .....and then you just feel like your story is dull and long and is never getting to a point, so you say something like it's no big deal, "Oh that's okay I'll tell you later about it."

I just want to be unawkward for a change, is that so much to ask?  I've tried the whole, embrace your awkwardness phase, and yeah I'm just too awkward to be one of the COOL awkward people... hahaha...

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Yes, I am going to be "one" of those mothers.

Not gonna lie.

I'm feeling an enormous amount of anxiety right now.

Almost to the point of throwing up, and part of that could be the fact that I need to eat something and I've been drinking diet soda all morning.  Stupid hypoglycemic-ness. 

Anyway.  I was reading on FB that someone asked about the first day of school, and they said the 15th.  I was like oh, well that's still a lot of time still.  So I looked at a calendar for August.  BAD IDEA.  I saw that I pretty much have ONE WEEK till then.


Until This baby boy of mine...

Goes to Kindergarten.  Oh jeeezeee...

How in the world did time pass by so quickly?? :(


I know I'm going to let him ride the bus, because he wanted to so bad, but that first day I want to take him there.  I probably should charge my camera now...haha.  Uggg.  Homeschooling doesn't sound so bad right now. hahaha! I know this will be good for him though.  Recently I read an amazing book that had a few paragraphs that the main character was telling about her candid thoughts about parenting.  It made me laugh, and I was secretly agreeing with her too....

"I’m unclear about the fine line of good parenting and being overly protective. He wants to walk to a friend’s house; I want him to stay inside and draw while I sit on the front porch with a shotgun across my lap like Granny Clampett.”  .... hehe. :)  Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott... pretty interesting read.

After this week is over, I'm going to be finally finished with my summer classes, so my plan is to start making a routine for us.  Waking up, getting ready, ORGANIZATION, and bedtimes.

Wish me luck... because I know I'm going to need it. 

I plan on being an emotional mess that first day.  Yep.  I will be one of those moms.