Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Patience Grasshopper...Patience

I'm going to go nuts.  I'm seeing so many AWESOME things I NEED for my new house and I really need to wait till we actually get moved in first, but ahhhhhh!!!! I can't hold it much longer!!! I want to go thrift shopping and find retro everything, I've made a list of flea markets I need to stop at and then I will go straight to the funky antique shops!  If it was up to me my entire house would probably look like it was from the 60's-70's .  I want some funky furniture!  I don't want boring blah furniture.  EEEEKKK!  I have no patience!  Although I have a billion and one things to do, I can't help but want to hurry up and get my furniture!!  I'm freakin out and getting so excited!!!!!

yeah, this is just a few of the just plain AWESOME things I found.  I'm just going to have to find a cheepy desk and paint it yellow.  I LOVE THAT!!! and that COUCH! OMG!!!!!!!  Seriously beautiful!!! ..... uuuhhhhggg.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Shut the Front Door! Holy Guacamole....

I almost read an entire book in a day! (...ummm yeah because my assignment was due tonight..)

It was so freaking depressing though.  Gah.  It was Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpi Lahiri (hopefully I spelled it right) Some of the stories were really entertaining, they were just sad and depressing.  Although I read it a lot easier than the Mark Twain books.  I may not have much of a summer I'm afraid.  I think between reading all of these books, doing all of the writing for the classes about these books, getting things accomplished at the new house, and getting things squared away for the start of school (my baby is going to kindergarten... holy crap!), I am not going to have any time at all, so bare with me if I don't post something for like a week, or two weeks or so. :)

I'm attempting to dive into my next story of Mark Twains'.... Ugg.  It's pretty long too. I hate to procrastinate on it, because I want my weekend free, but blerg!!  I'm actually excited about some of my other books I get to read for my women's writers class though, they seem really interesting.

I think we should already get a redo of June, it's going by so fast already!  I have so much to do, so little time!!!

Sorry super boring post!

Sunday, June 10, 2012


Since we've been working on the house, I've been pretty much exhausted and when it comes time to eat I get to the point where I don't care and just want some sort of food, unfortunately most of it has been fast food.  So the other day when I was grocery shopping I took time to think of some healthier options for myself.  I KNEW these two items... vanilla greek yogurt and nectarines... two of my favorite things (and healthy I might add) would be perfect for a quick breakfast.  I've had this the past two mornings, so delishhh!!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

My lovely list of 15 Things to do before turning 30!

Yes I chose 15 because 30 seemed a bit extensive, therefore I thought cutting the list in half would be a bit more realistic to achieve.  I haven't done one of these for quite sometime, so I thought now would be good timing to make my list as it is quickly approaching... EKK! I'm 27 now, but in just a few years and the BIG 3...0 will hit me like a ton of bricks!!  Am I scared.  Nah.  It's a number.  I have plans already in the making for that day as well. :) :) :)

have mastered
 and completed by
my 30th BIRTHDAY.

1.  Have another baby.  Even if this means I will be prego at the time of my 30th bday.  I think by then is almost perfect timing.  I definitely don't want a baby NOW!  Everyone and their grandma is prego right now, or just having a baby.  It's like a epidemic!!! Anywho that's not my problem, my problem is next spring I'm student teaching, I could never work that chaos out where it would all work out.  I'm thinking after my first year of teaching would be fine.  I want to focus on my very first year of teaching before diving into babyhood again. :)  I keep thinking about it and I can see myself having another little boy... I love the name I've had forever for another little guy and no one has this awesome name that is why I'm not speaking a word of it. I also would love to have a girl, I would love to have a redheaded brown eyed little lady named... (my list is growing).    Anyway that is the obvious #1.

2. Family Vacation to... anywhere but Missouri.
I want Jared, Jett and I to go on a road trip somewhere.  It can't be in Missouri though.  I want to go somewhere new, it doesn't have to be a beach either, but I would eventually like to see the ocean.  I would also LOVE to see the REDWOOD FOREST.  I don't know why but I've always wanted to see the trees!!!  One day... oh yes... one day we are going to travel to England and Ireland.  Those two are my top two HAVE TO BEFORE I DIE traveling spots. 

3. Get a teaching job at my hometown school!!!
Well, this of course is the tricky one.  This scares me to death.  I've already been okayed by the principal to student teacher there, so I will at least be familiar with most of the teachers.  I'm just scared of the interviewing process.  Just thinking about it makes me wanna puke!  I get worked up with a lot other things, but this freaks me out more than anything.  I almost wish Drury U would put on some sort of mock interviewing session.  I just want practice...  speaking in front of adults has never really been my strong suit.  SOOOO SCARED!  This has been my goal from when I decided to start down the teaching path, I wanted to teach in hometown.  It's my comfort zone.  Plus the principal that was just hired there for next year use to be one of my teachers at Drury U and she was amazing, I learned so much from her.  She was incredibly compassionate, knowledgeable, and an amazing person.  I just really hope I get a job there, but I know I'm going to be fighting a ton of other people for a job and that is what really scares me.... :/

4. Get back to my pre-Jett weight... maybe even a little less.
Ugg... to be thin again.  Yep.  One day the skinnier girl will return oh yes she will.. haha.

5.  Possibly own a VW bug.  That's my dream car.  Seriously I would LOVEEE to have one, I think they are adorable.

I have so many books I want to read and I feel I never have time to read them.  I have a stack of TO READ books already and I absolutely love going to BARNS and NOBLES

7. Write More!!
Writing has always been something that I've loved to do.  I use to love poetry.  It was really childish stuff, but I've always had a passion for it.  I've also loved writing in my journals just about random things.  I would love at one point in my life to have something published, I would love to write my own book(s).  I had a poem of mine published in a book, but it was all from a website so I'm not so sure it was a big deal.

8. Master Organization.
This is my enemy.  Organizing things.  I know that my life would be so much easier if I would just try a little harder to organize and keep things organized.  I'm so weird, I have a bit of OCD about things, and get antsy when my house is just a crazy disaster, but then there are days that I'm just exhausted and I don't care what it looks like.  I'm hoping since we are moving, that I can just start over with good habits of organization.  Hopefully that is.

9. COOK... A LOT!
I'm really debating about trying to eat "CLEAN".  I read a lot of recipes that I would LOVE to try and they are really simple.  I'm also hoping when we move that since we won't be right in town that we will stop eating out so much.  I really need to just COOK more, and not the easy way out like frozen dinners in a bag, I really want to do some from scratch meals that will be healthy for everyone.

10. Try a lot harder not to let people and their words bother me!!!
This has been my struggle since I can remember. I take everything personally. I think a lot of my self esteem issues has to do with 1st and foremost my mother. She really doesn't think before she says something. Then there are the people I have once and still today have somehow surrounded myself with. People that say they are your friend but really just bring you down. Don't get me wrong this has gotten a whole lot better since I got married and separated myself from a few people, but still today there remains a few I keep telling myself are really good people most of the time, but then they do something that really makes you question yourself ???? And this is a friend of mine?? And they are treating me like nothing in my life matters to them.. ??? Yeah. I guess I have always been that girl that you can walk all over because I try and care about everyone even if they do something mean to me. I've let a few people have a lot more chances than others and I'm starting to see their true colors which is just making me sick. Okay enough ranting on this one.

11. Have better self-confidence.
I guess 10 and 11 are somewhat similar, but this one is just for me have a little higher self esteem. I'm sick of focusing on the negativity. I need to clear my head and have a better image of myself. I know I'm a big girl, but I'm working on getting healthy. I know I have horrible skin, but I do everything I can to try and clear it up. I may not wear that much make up, but I honestly shouldn't have to to feel beautiful. I had an acquaintance recently suggest a book that helps with women that continuously focus on the bad things about themselves and I'm going to find it and hopefully that will at least lighten my spirit a bit.

12. Become closer to God in my own way.
This is a touchy subject with some people I know, but I feel like I need to do something different. Would going to church help, probably a little. I would really like to find a new church. Something that all of us can genuinely enjoy. I would really like my husband to join me on this adventure and definitely include Jett. I guess it really hit me the other day when Jett told me "Mom, when we move and I sleep in my new room, if I'm scared I ask God to help me so I'm not scared."  I was just floored.  I knew about his conversation with his teacher the day before because she told how unique and interesting the conversations were of these 5 year olds.  They have a couple of foster kids as well living with new families, a little girl that her parents are separated, and Jett, that is moving to a new house.  She said they were all a little scared about their new surroundings so she put them at ease and told them to pray and God would protect them.  When I heard those words come from my son that has very rarely stepped inside of a church, I almost started crying.  I don't know really if it's a find a church thing or just start small with maybe praying before bed with him.  I don't want to force religion on him, but I want him to know that God is here if he wants to learn about him.

13. Get updated on my scrapbooks, photo albums, and anything else that holds memories!
I'm so behind, sooooo very behind on all of this!! I'm determined to print out pictures and get some scrap booking stuff going!!  I NEED TO! There's about 5 years lacking in all of my photo albums.  I was really good that first year, I even documented a lot of stuff in my journal as well.  Slacker me, hasn't done anything like that in awhile. :/

14. Have a getaway weekend with the hubaroo!
I've always wanted to do this, just to get away with just Jared on a weekend.  Some spontaneous road trip somewhere.  Nothing fancy, just one of those crazy amazing weekends just to get away.  If I didn't have so much going on right now, I'd say now would be perfect because I really do need to get away from people pronto!

15. Come up with another 15 things to accomplish and achieve them that are not on my list. HA!  Some of these seem pretty easy to accomplish with a little work involved, others seem like huge life events and others just take a little time and money.  I think that most of these can get done in a couple of years, but we will see.  Hopefully I can tackle some of the big stuff at least! :)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Things that make you go... hmmmm...?!?!


The list of things that URK me is honestly quite large, but I've really tried to behave myself and let a LOT of little things slide by me without causing some sort of dramatic showdown.  Lately though... I'm just about to lose it with people.  I think it's partly because I'm exhausted from working almost everyday on the new house.  Today we decided to take a day off and just bum out.  I feel super slouchy and sleepy and groggy.  I've slept probably a little too much today.  Anyway, back to my lurvely list.  I think I'm just going to start numbering them.

1.  My mom.

Oh my word.  Gripe-fest. She told me this week that she thought the house we bought looked like a "dump" before we started working on it.  Then we painted our garage door deep red and she said she "doesn't care for it, it makes the house look shorter."  I'm pretty sure if we bought a PERFECT house that she would gripe about something.  We've worked so hard on this house, and there is nothing we can do about the inside of it yet until closing.  The house hasn't been lived in a long time and it's a old house, so yeah there is a musty old house smell.  My mom told my sister in law yesterday while I went into another room that "This house smells so bad!"  My patience with her is about to break.  I've always tried to do the whole.."If you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all", but sometimes I really think she needs to HEAR what I have to say.  Sigh....... I think when we finally get settled in, Jared, Jett, and I will be major hermits from family for a while.

2. My other relative (she who shall not be named) <--- for a little dramatic effect.

She's about 15 years older than me I believe.  She's burned every bridge that people have built for her.  She's had every excuse in the book.  She's so very very dramatic.  She doesn't talk to you unless there is something major going on, or if there is something dramatic happening in some other relatives lives she wants to know whats going on.  She has to be the center of attention or she gets just crazy.  She's in her 40's but usually acts like she's 16.  She has borrowed a ton... of money from her friends and family and hasn't even tried to pay it back.  She thinks that when she's in town, everyone should stop what they have planned and plan something with her (this drives me insane).  She's caused a lot of unwanted chaos, stirs up drama, and just really makes everyone mad.  ......this is only half of it.  What really URKS me is...  she claims she's a christian woman.  She's very vocal about being christian.  The only thing is she does this all on facebook.  Instead of apologizing for something... or trying to finding out what she can do to better herself she claims everyone else is in the wrong because they aren't doing what is right by God and forgiving her.  She wrote a passage from the bible the other day about forgiveness and it's so crazy to me because how do we forgive her for the things she's done when she hasn't even tried to make amends with anyone, even herself.  At one time I thought she really had her stuff together and was really TRYING, but the last few episodes of hers have really thrown that out the window.  It sucks even more because I reached out to her when things in her life were really going down hill, I went out of my way to be there for her and it really didn't seem to phase her much.  Now that I've had my eyes opened to what all is going on with her and what she has done, just disgusts me honestly and it's sad that she has to put the words of GOD on facebook to try and make us feel guilty.  I really wish she could just look at herself in the mirror and see how much she's just torturing herself and her family.  I think most of us have went to just ignoring her, because once you give her any attention at all, she just walks all over you.  I hate it, because I use to love being around her and hearing her stories and hearing her giggle.  Now I just don't know what to think. :(

3. What the heckaroo is up with my body?!?!

This has nothing to do with anyone but myself.  Here I've worked almost a constant week on our house, REAL LABOR PEOPLE!!! hahaa! I thought maybe this will help me shed some pounds!!! Nope. Gaining it back again.  Ugggg.  Not to mention my face is so broke out horribly now from all the chemicals outside.  It's all just disgusting believe me.  I haven't worried about wearing make-up while working on the house because I usually just end up getting paint splattered on my face or it just sweats off.  I'm so stinking chubby, but I've come to the conclusion that pretty much any kind of stress whether it be exciting stress or just plain bad stress really messes with my eating behaviors.  Even though I thought I was eating normally, I know for a fact I was drinking a lot of soda because I felt drained of energy.  We did eat more fast food this week because of going back and forth to the new house (stupid decision).  So this week I really need to get my act together, since I'm not going up there as much.

4.  We have to wait another week before we close on the house.... BOO! :(

Yeah... this URKS me, but I know that it also might be good for Jared and I because we do need time to get all of our stuff purged, sorted, and packed at our present home.  Plus having another week may give us more time to plan on some of the ideas for the inside of the new house as well.

Sorry for the super long post... but I needed to get some of the BLEHHH stuff off my chest, that way you don't have to read a whole weeks worth of it. :)  I will try with some more happier posts later on.